Nashville Psych’s Mark Simpson Offers Relational Life Therapy For Couples
Nashville Psych’s Mark Simpson Offers Relational Life Therapy For Couples
Couples therapy is an evolving field. While there are several popular models and methods therapists use to help partners move beyond conflict into deeper connection, a few years ago, Nashville Psych’s Dr. Mark Simpson was drawn to a newer approach called Relational Life Therapy.
Historically, in couples work, Dr. Simpson has drawn on multiple modalities, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, psychodynamic therapy, solution-focused, and interpersonal therapy. However, there was something different about Relational Life Therapy that he appreciated. After completing a three-year program, Dr. Simpson ultimately earned a certification in Relational Life Therapy. He is the first clinician who practices in the State of Tennessee to earn this designation.
“I’m excited to be the first therapist in Tennessee to be certified in Relational Life Therapy,” says Dr. Simpson. “My hope is I will be the first of many to offer this unique and powerful approach to working with couples. RLT sets a high bar and expects couples to go deeply and make rapid and significant changes. It also equips people with the powerful tools they need to continue building authentic, healthy relationships long after their time in therapy is over.”
We are proud of Dr. Simpson and his decision to pursue certification in Relational Life Therapy. It reflects both his commitment to deep relational work and his desire to bring innovative, effective couples therapy options to people in Nashville, throughout Tennessee, and beyond.
What Is Relational Life Therapy?
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a model of couples therapy developed by renowned couples therapist and author Terry Real. For those interested in getting a sense of Real’s work, check out Fierce Intimacy (only available as an audiobook).
The model has gained respect and popularity in the field of relational and couples work for its emphasis on honesty, relational courage, and healing the wounded parts of ourselves within the context of intimate partnership.
At its heart, RLT is about transforming relational patterns by helping partners reconnect with themselves first and then with each other. Clients examine their feelings, desires and needs in life and in the relationship.
This relational model is based on the idea that many couples come into relationships burdened by relational trauma or internal patterns, rooted in childhood or previous experiences, which can influence how they relate in the present. RLT works to help partners become aware of those patterns and work to repair those relational ruptures in real time.
Key Ideas Behind Relational Life Therapy
Self-esteem, shame, and grandiosity
RLT sees relational dysfunction often as a struggle between shame (a sense of worthlessness or feeling less than others) and grandiosity (a defensive posture of being superior or invulnerable). Couples may swing in and out of these stances in the heat of conflict. RLT seeks to help each partner develop real self-esteem, a grounded sense of worth that allows vulnerability, strength, and connection. Through the work, partners become more aware of whether they are feeling shame, grandiosity, or ideally somewhere in the middle.
Power, roles, and the relational grid
RLT clinicians assess how partners use power, play different roles, and react, while noticing how they interact relationally based on history and other factors. For example, one partner feels safe by taking control and getting things done while the other tries to keep the peace and become agreeable. These different ways of being and engaging creates an inequitable power and role dynamic.
Relational truth telling and confronting
In Relational Life Therapy, therapists are encouraged to be more direct and challenging to clients, especially when one partner’s behavior is getting in the way of connection. With kindness and care, the therapist shows clients challenging realities about how they are causing harm in their relationships. However, it is done in a way that is intended to build trust and minimize resistance.
Repairing ruptures in real time
RLT encourages couples to address disconnection and emotional injury in session. The therapist helps partners stay connected throughout the process, fostering trust that repair is possible and strengthening relational resilience.
Integration of systems, feminist theory, coaching, and evidence-based methods
RLT is eclectic, integrating systemic thinking, feminist awareness (especially around power and gender dynamics), coaching approaches, and interventions drawn from more traditional evidence-based therapies.
How Relational Life Therapy Helps Couples
There are countless ways that couples can benefit from Relational Life Therapy. Here are some of the most important:
1. Faster identification and interruption of destructive cycles
Many couples fall into repetitive conflict loops. For example, one partner withdraws while the other pursues or one partner criticizes while the other defensively shuts down. Relational Life Therapy allows the therapist and the couple to see exactly where those cycles are fueled. This includes an understanding of shame, power imbalance, reactivity, and more direct interventions, which can shorten the amount of time that couples feel stuck.
2. Healing relational wounds together, not apart
Often, emotional wounds are held and processed individually (in individual therapy), leaving it up to each partner to bring into couples therapy an individual understanding of how these wounds show up in their relationship. RLT instead invites relational healing: letting vulnerable, wounded parts come forward with the partner present, while the therapist supports safety and repair. Unlike other approaches, deep trauma and inner child work is done with the partner present, allowing individuals to go deeper and couples to grow even closer.
3. Strengthening empathy and relational flexibility
When shame or defensiveness rules relational interactions, partners often misinterpret each other’s motives or attack out of fear. RLT fosters empathy, teaching partners to see the emotional logic under difficult behavior, to step into each other’s experience, and to remain flexible rather than reactive.
4. Building authentic intimacy
RLT holds that intimacy is not just about comfort and harmony but includes “relational courage.” True closeness arises when partners can acknowledge their inner wounds, maintain boundaries, repair ruptures, and stay connected even in discomfort. Over time, couples often report deeper, more resilient intimacy.
5. Developing Relationship Mindfulness
People get triggered all the time. Learning how to respond to it in real time is essential when relating to another person. According to Terry Real, “relational mindfulness is moving beyond your knee-jerk, automatic (adaptive child part) responses into a thoughtful, considered (wise adult part) response. Mastering this shift is the core skill of RLT.”
6. Addressing power imbalance and gender dynamics
Because RLT is aware of power, social context, and cultural dynamics (e.g. around gender, race, class), it is more adept than many traditional models at noticing how structural or societal influence infiltrates relational patterns. This awareness can free couples from unconscious cultural scripts that undermine equality and mutual respect.
7. Preventing stagnation or therapy collapse
Some couples therapy modalities slow or stall when couples hit resistance or avoidance. RLT’s directness, its encouragement of real repair, and its emphasis on relational aliveness can help avoid stagnation. Many therapists report that couples make leaps forward in mid to late stage of therapy rather than mere incremental progress.
How To Best Prepare For Relational Life Therapy
No therapy model works for everyone. It’s important to consider some elements of RLT that require some preparation.
RLT encourages confronting deep wounds and ruptures in the relationship, which can feel really intense and emotionally demanding in the moment. Clients should go into it prepared for doing some difficult but important work.
Additionally, some people might be attracted to RLT because it may move more quickly than other approaches. Yet, it’s important to remember that no matter what type of therapy one is engaging in, meaningful change takes time, patience, and commitment.
Trust is key in a client-therapist relationship, but even more so when using such an in-depth, interactive, and direct approach. It’s essential to vet therapists to ensure that clients feel safe, open, and trusting of the process under the care they receive.
Most importantly, Relational Life Therapy is not a good fit for couples with one partner with an untreated psychiatric disorder, a partner with patterns of serious self-medication, or a partner who is violent or acts out sexually.
Dr. Mark Simpson Now Seeing Clients For Relational Life Therapy
The fact that Mark Simpson is the first Relational Life Therapy-certified clinician in Tennessee is meaningful to our team and is beneficial for his clients.
For couples who are tired of having the same fights, and feeling emotionally disconnected. RLT offers a methodology grounded in relational courage, emotional truth, and healing of the deep wounds that often underlie distress. If you are looking for couples therapy in Nashville, remote therapy in other areas in the State of Tennessee, or in PSYPACT states, we invite you to reach out to our client care team via email, phone, or scheduling a phone consult to learn more about working with Dr. Mark Simpson.