11 Surprising Signs Of Social Anxiety

11 Surprising Signs Of Social Anxiety

When we think of social anxiety, we might think of someone who has a panic attack when they interact with other people or anticipate future interactions. However, social anxiety, also called social phobia, can show up in a variety of ways, many of which we wouldn’t recognize without digging a little deeper into the topic.

One example of social anxiety that may be confused for something else is replaying conversations or interactions with others long after they occur. We may think it’s totally harmless to question what we did, what we said, or what the other person was thinking about us when we ran into our neighbor the other day, when in fact it can be a sign of social anxiety. If you often feel emotionally drained after social events, overthink casual conversations, or worry excessively about being judged, you might not just be shy or introverted. You could be dealing with social anxiety.

Social Anxiety Disorder Symptoms

First, it is important to note that social anxiety can present in varying degrees. In order for Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) to be diagnosed, the following must be present:

• Marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the person is exposed to possible scrutiny by others (such as social interactions, being observed, or performing in front of others).
• Fear of acting in a way or showing anxiety symptoms that will be negatively evaluated, such as being embarrassed, humiliated, rejected, or offending others.
• Social situations almost always provoke fear or anxiety.
• The social situations are avoided or endured with intense fear or anxiety.
• The fear or anxiety is out of proportion to the actual threat posed by the social situation and to the sociocultural context.
• The fear, anxiety, or avoidance is persistent, typically lasting a minimum of 6 months.
• The fear, anxiety, or avoidance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
• The fear, anxiety, or avoidance is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (such as illegal drugs or medication) or another medical condition.
• The fear, anxiety, or avoidance is not better explained by another mental disorder, such as panic disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, or autism spectrum disorder.
• If another medical condition is present (such as Parkinson’s disease, obesity, disfigurement), the fear, anxiety, or avoidance is clearly unrelated or excessive.

If some of these conditions are present but not all of them, it can still be social anxiety – just not recognized at the level of a disorder.

11 Surprising Signs of Social Anxiety

Some of the subtle signs of social anxiety are more common than we might expect. In fact, many people experience social anxiety for years without recognizing it. Let’s explore some of the lesser-known signs of social anxiety.

1. You Rehearse Conversations in Your Head (Over and Over)
It’s one thing to think through what you want to say during a meeting or an important conversation. However, if you find yourself rehearsing simple things, such as how to say “hello” to a coworker or what to say when ordering coffee, it might be more than just wanting to be prepared.

Many people with social anxiety engage in mental “rehearsals” to avoid embarrassment or judgment. Ironically, this can make them feel even more self-conscious and disconnected in the moment.

2. You Replay Conversations Long After They’re Over
Do you lie awake at night replaying a conversation from earlier in the day? Maybe you said something slightly awkward or misread a tone and now your brain won’t let it go.

This kind of post-social analysis is a hallmark of social anxiety. While most people occasionally overthink interactions, those with social anxiety often get stuck in loops of self-criticism, wondering if they offended someone or looked foolish.

3. You Avoid Making Phone Calls
For many people with social anxiety, the phone feels especially daunting. There’s no body language to read, less time to think, and a fear of “sounding stupid” or not knowing what to say.

You might procrastinate making appointments, send emails instead of calling, or even avoid answering the phone altogether. This behavior can seem small but often reflects a deeper fear of judgment or failure in social situations.

4. You Feel Like An Impostor In Social Situations
Even if you’re outgoing or successful on the surface, you might feel like you’re “faking it” when you interact with others. You may worry that people will “find out” you’re awkward, unlikable, or not as confident as you seem.

This impostor feeling often stems from an internal belief that you’re not good enough socially, a belief that’s common among those who experience social anxiety.

5. You Worry About How You Look While Doing Everyday Things
Walking across a room. Eating in front of others. Writing on a whiteboard. These are everyday activities, but for someone with social anxiety, they can feel like a performance.

You might feel hyper-aware of how others are perceiving you. This may not be limited to your words, but can also include your posture, facial expressions, or whether you’re doing something “weird.” This constant self-monitoring can be exhausting and may lead to opting out of social interactions.

6. You Struggle To Make Eye Contact (But Not Always)
Avoiding eye contact is a classic sign of social anxiety. But here’s the twist: many people with social anxiety do make eye contact. In fact, they might work extra hard to appear confident, while feeling anxious underneath.

If you feel unnatural or overly aware while making eye contact, or if you avoid it in some situations but not others, it could be a subtle sign of social anxiety.

7. You Cancel Plans (Even When You Want to Go)
You make plans with friends or RSVP to a work event. But when the day arrives, the anxiety hits: What if you say something wrong? What if people judge you? What if it’s awkward?

This fear can become so intense that you cancel, even if you were genuinely looking forward to it. It’s also possible that you are unaware of the fear – and have a general sense that you don’t want to go. Social anxiety often creates a push-pull dynamic: the desire for connection and the fear of judgment collide, leading to avoidance and self-isolation.

8. You Assume People Don’t Like You Unless You Have Proof
Social anxiety can make it hard to trust that you’re liked or accepted. Unless someone explicitly tells you how much they like being around you, you might assume they’re just being polite, or secretly annoyed.

This negative filter can distort your perception of social interactions and lead to unnecessary stress. You may read too much into neutral facial expressions or interpret silence as rejection.

9. You Get “People Hangovers”
After socializing, especially in groups, you might feel physically and emotionally wiped out. It’s not just introvert fatigue; it may be exhaustion caused by heightened vigilance, self-monitoring, and internal stress.

This “social hangover” can last for hours or even days, making it harder to stay connected or build relationships.

10. You’re Often The “Good Listener” (Because Talking Feels Risky)
People may appreciate how thoughtful, attentive, or quiet you are. But for some with social anxiety, listening is a way to avoid the risk of speaking. Talking might feel dangerous. What if you ramble, offend someone, or draw too much attention?

If you find yourself constantly holding back, even with close friends, you may be trying to protect yourself from the perceived danger of social rejection.

11. You Heavily Rely On Alcohol In Social Situations

Alcohol can temporarily alleviate symptoms of social anxiety and is therefore frequently used by individuals with social anxiety. In fact, individuals with Social Anxiety Disorder are more likely to develop Alcohol Use Disorder than individuals without it.

If you refrain from drinking and notice a significant increase in anxiety in social situations, it may be a sign that you suffer from social anxiety.  

Overlapping Symptoms With Other Challenges

It’s also worth understanding that some signs of social anxiety can overlap with other diagnoses, like Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD). You might notice yourself avoiding social events, worrying what people think, or struggling to start conversations. While those behaviors can look similar, the reasons behind them can be really different. For social anxiety, it’s often about a fear of being judged or embarrassed in certain situations. For someone with ASD, it might be about feeling overwhelmed by sensory input or uncertainty around social cues. For someone with Avoidant Personality Disorder, it might come from deep fears of rejection or not feeling good enough. This is a good reminder that while our behaviors can overlap, our experiences underneath them are personal. Getting curious about what’s happening for you matters.

Is Social Anxiety Treatable?

Social anxiety isn’t just about being shy or introverted. It’s a persistent fear of being judged, criticized, or rejected in social settings. Over time, it can impact your self-esteem, relationships, and ability to fully participate in life. Like many other mental health concerns, social anxiety disorder likely comes from a combination of biological and environmental factors.

The good news: social anxiety is treatable. Therapy can help you challenge negative thought patterns, build social confidence, and reduce avoidance behaviors. Approaches, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), exposure therapy, mindfulness, and/or medication, can be helpful in addressing the symptoms of social anxiety. Depth-oriented approaches, such as psychodynamic psychotherapy may be helpful in working on underlying issues that contribute to social anxiety. Group therapy approaches, such as Interpersonal Process Groups, can also be helpful for individuals experiencing social anxiety.

Struggle With Social Anxiety? You Are Not Alone

Social anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions, affecting millions of people – many of whom look perfectly calm and confident on the outside. If this post resonates with you, it might be the perfect time to explore what’s going on underneath the surface. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin. With support and the right tools, it is possible to feel more confident, connected, and free to be you.

Support for Social Anxiety in Nashville

If you recognize yourself in some of these signs of social anxiety, you don’t have to figure this out on your own. Whether you’re struggling with friendships, work-related stress, or simply want to feel more confident in your daily life, therapy can provide a safe space to explore your experiences and learn new tools. Our therapists at Nashville Psych are available to help.

We offer in-person individual and group sessions in Nashville and virtual appointments for clients across Tennessee. Our psychologists are part of PSYPACT and can see clients in many other states. We invite you to reach out via email to our Client Care team, give us a call, or schedule a free consultation.