How Do I Find An LGBT-Friendly Therapist Or An LGBT-Affirming Therapist Near Me?
At times, finding a therapist can be a somewhat challenging task for a variety of reasons. Some of these reasons may include limited access to quality clinicians, financial restrictions, therapist availability or lack thereof, or difficulty finding a therapist with the training required to help with specific and unique needs of a particular client. For individuals who identify as LGBTQ+, the search to find a therapist can be even trickier, as not all therapists are trained to work with the unique needs of individuals in the LGBTQ+ community. That said, there are many wonderful LGBT-friendly therapists and LGBT-affirming therapists out there. With a little bit of thought and some attention to detail, which I’ll address below, you can set yourself up for success in finding an LGBT-affirming therapist who’s right for you.
What “LGBT-Friendly Therapist” and “LGBT-Affirming Therapist” Really Mean
Before we dive into how to find an LGBT-friendly therapist or an LGBT-affirming therapist, it’s important to understand what these terms mean. Of course, not everyone will agree on this, but while some clinicians may use the terms interchangeably, we believe that there are some important distinctions between the two. For example, the term “LGBTQ+ friendly therapist” connotes that the therapist is warm and welcoming of LGBTQ+ clients. However, much like the term “inclusive therapist,” it does not necessarily mean that the therapist is experienced or specifically trained for this purpose.
According to the American Academy of Marriage & Family Therapists’ Queer & Trans Advocacy Network, an LGBT-Affirming Therapist utilizes therapy approaches that embrace “a positive view of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ) identities and relationships and addresses the negative influences that homophobia, transphobia, and heterosexism have on the lives of LGBTQ clients.” LGBTQ+-affirming therapists factor in a wide spectrum of identity issues, coping with anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination, violence, and oppression, and addressing additional challenges related to varying aspects of physical and psychological safety that can either hinder or advance LGBTQ+ individuals in reaching their full potential. LGBT clients with additional marginalized identities may also seek an LGBTQ+-affirming therapist who integrates an intersectional approach in understanding the ways that a person’s multiple minoritized identities (i.e., sexual orientation, gender identity, race/ethnicity, socioeconomic status, ability status, etc.) may impact the client’s lived experiences and mental health needs.
How To Spot An LGBT-Affirming Therapist
There are some telltale signs that you’ve found a therapist who is not only accepting and welcoming of members of the LGBTQ+ community, i.e. “friendly” and “inclusive,” but who is well trained and demonstrates an affirming approach toward their clients. Here are some of the easiest ways to recognize an LGBT-Affirming Therapist:
- Proper Pronoun Usage. An affirming therapist will respect and actively use your correct pronouns and the correct pronouns of any significant people in your life. If they mistakenly use an incorrect pronoun to reference you or someone else, they will apologize. Note about apologies: Some LGBT experts suggest that pronoun error-related apologies should be brief. Ideally, an LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist would briefly correct their mistake and move on. Over-apologizing by the therapist is not advised, as it can sometimes place a client in a place of feeling like they have to say, “it’s OK,” and bring more attention to the therapist, as the person who misused their pronoun (and who also holds power in the client-therapist relationship), instead of the client whose pronouns were misused. It can also simply embarrass the client or make them feel like they are expending a lot of energy around any repair. As an LGBTQ+ client, if your therapist uses the wrong pronoun to address you, and you feel empowered to talk to them about their mistake, an affirming therapist would ideally accept your correction with humility, gratitude, and openness.
- Their Actions Align With Their Values. An affirming therapist will demonstrate their understanding, knowledge, and affirmation of the spectrum of sexuality and gender identity through many pathways, including but not limited to, their use of LGBTQ+ affirming language, their engagement in ongoing personal education and learning related to LGBT concerns, or their support of community-based advocacy groups that champion diverse needs of the LGBTQ+ community.
- Visuals Are Worth a Thousand Words. An LGBTQ+ affirming therapist or therapy practice will have visual cues within their virtual and/or in-person office, showing that they are an LGBT-affirming space (pride flag, books by LGBT authors, artwork depicting diverse bodies, support offerings specifically centering the needs of LGBT people such as Nashville Psych’s LGBTQ+ Support Group, etc). Their website will include content specific to LGBTQ+ populations (like this blog!) and share their affirming beliefs.
- They Don’t Limit You To LGBT Concerns. An LGBT-affirming therapist will not assume that you are only coming to therapy for support around LGBT concerns. Therapy clients, no matter their gender identity or sexual orientation, share more commonalities than differences as far as their basic human psychological needs, such as love, connection, and feeling a sense of safety, and an LGBT-affirming therapist should compassionately make space for you to explore all of these concerns through a multiculturally-informed framework.
All of that said, if you are asking yourself, “how do I find an LGBT-Friendly Therapist or an LGBT-Affirming therapist near me?” you may want to first ask your physician or a trusted friend or family member if they know of anyone who meets the criteria. Then, a simple Google search or a filtered search on Psychology Today would be a good next step, if you don’t have any great recommendations or if you prefer not to ask someone else for anonymity purposes. Additionally, if you would like to work with Queer & Trans Therapists of Color, The National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network offers a national directory. Additionally, for LGBT Youth ages 13-24 who are experiencing an urgent crisis situation or having thoughts about harming or killing themselves, The Trevor Project is an additional support resource.
No matter who you decide to work with, I want to commend you for seeking out support, which is a very brave step in taking care of yourself, healing trauma, improving relationships, identifying healthy coping skills that honor your whole self, reaching your full potential, and making the shift from surviving to thriving. And if you are in Middle Tennessee and have any interest in joining our new LGBTQ+ Therapy Group, I encourage you to reach out.
Kindly,
Ciera V. Scott, PhD, HSP
