11 Signs That Your Teen May Be In Danger

Recent tragic incidents involving adolescent girls have caught the attention of the Nashville, Tennessee and National media. Certainly, many parents who watch the news empathize and also fear for their own children’s safety. They might ask:

• “How could this occur?”
• “Could my own daughter be susceptible to this kind of manipulation?” and
• “What can I say or do as a parent to prevent such an occurrence?”

These are also questions I was asked by WKRN News (Channel 2)and WSMV (Channel 4) to to help parents understand what’s going on here and to help prevent these kinds of problems from occurring, or at least to identify the problem quickly before things get out of control.

A behavioral perspective is the simplest way to view these incidents. What these older men were providing was positive reinforcement. That is, when associating with their male companions, something that the males provided made the reward center of their adolescent brains light up. While it is unclear exactly what these girls were experiencing, it is likely, since they were not reportedly physically coerced, that their experience of their older male companions was characterized by positive feelings. While there may have been some negative consequences for their behavior, these consequences were not substantial enough to warrant ceasing their association with their male companions. Perhaps, additionally there were negative consequences when they were not associating with these men, such as a lack of attention or praise.

What could make these teens susceptible?

The first thing that might come up in people’s minds, especially coming from a psychologist is that perhaps young women were mentally ill in some way. Certainly, individuals with Bipolar Disorder (during a manic or hypomanic episode), Borderline Personality Disorder or ADHD can be thrill-seeking and inclined to engage in impulsive, and perhaps at times, reckless behavior. An individual that is experiencing depression sometimes feels worthless, and an individual who enables them to feel supported and valued can be just what they think they need. An individual with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) can be unaware that someone is trying to manipulate them if they have never been informed that that is part of the realm of human experience. That said, it doesn’t necessarily take a mental health diagnosis, like depression, bipolar, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder or ASD to be susceptible to such behavior from an older adult.

Teens from a developmental perspective

As an adolescent (and even through one’s 20s), the goal is to explore and establish one’s identity as an individual. This occurs largely through relationships with others. Self-esteem and belonging needs take center stage. As we may all remember from high school, a major concern was to be accepted by others and to feel that we belonged. There is a strong self-consciousness that comes with being an adolescent that is not common to any other life stage. Developmental psychologists have termed this heightened level of worry of others’ perceptions of us the “spotlight effect.”

Additionally, the human brain is not fully developed until at least age 25 – and the last part of the brain to develop is the frontal lobe which is central to decision making and a proper understanding of consequences. It’s probably one of the reasons why as people get older, they may take fewer risks.

Warning signs that your teen may be in danger

So how can parents know that their teen may be heading down a destructive path, or even one that is less than optimal? Here are some signs to look out for:

• Extreme shift in mood
• An Aura of Sadness
• Alcohol/Drug Use
• Change in Friends
• Risk Taking/Illegal Activity
• Change in Grades/School Disciplinary Issues
• Hiding Things/Secretive behavior
• Fluctuating Weight
• Change in Dress
• Self-Harm
• Unexplained money or purchases

How to support your teen

Beyond awareness of these warning signs, it is important that, as a parent, you are there as an emotional support for your teen. There is already so much pressure on teens to fit into a social group and to excel in academics. Much of the time, parents are so focused on their child’s academics and extracurricular activities that it is a challenge to switch gears and attend to their child’s emotional experience. In single-parent households, it is more challenging to attend to a child beyond basic daily check-ins. That makes who your child associates with while at school and outside of school that much more important. While you cannot protect your child from every type of threat that is out there, you can have candid conversations about making healthy choices, minimizing risks and the potential long-term consequences of making poor choices. As a parent, you cannot assume that your adolescent has the capacity to make choices that a fully mature-brained adult would make.

If you are in the Nashville area and you or your child is experiencing any of the signs of trouble listed above, feel free to reach out to us to schedule an appointment at (615) 582-2882 or clientcare@nashvillepsych.com.

Take good care,

Dan