Defense mechanisms protect us from feelings that our mind has decided are too much to handle. It redirects, reframes, deflects, and sometimes distorts reality in convincing ways, all in the service of keeping us functional. These mental strategies are called defense mechanisms, and once we know how to recognize them, we start spotting them everywhere. […]
At first glance, May feels hopeful. The weather is warmer. Summer is approaching. School is winding down. Vacations, graduations, celebrations, and longer days finally arrive after a long winter. Yet, for many of us, May can feel less like a fresh start and more like a stressful sprint to the finish line. Calendars become packed […]
Sometimes changing ourselves means changing how we relate to other people. Yes, we can experience a lot of growth in individual therapy. That said, one of the most powerful tools we have for improved relationships is group therapy. Group therapy works really well for clients who intellectually understand why they pull away from people they […]
At first glance, kindness and people pleasing can look almost identical. They can appear like showing up for others. Both can look like generosity, flexibility, and care. They also both often include saying “yes,” being accommodating, and trying to make things easier for the people around us. Yet, many of us have had the experience […]
Most people feel hurt when they experience criticism or rejection. That response is human and expected. After all, we are wired to care about connection and belonging. Yet, for some people, the emotional impact of rejection feels even more intense. For example, a small piece of feedback, a delayed response, or a subtle shift in […]
At the core of every healthy relationship lies connection, honesty, and repair. It sounds easier than it is sometimes. When we’re stressed or triggered, even the most loving couples can fall into old patterns of criticizing, shutting down, clinging, or pulling away. Relational Life Therapy (RLT), developed by psychotherapist and author Terry Real, is a […]